OSWALD

1992-2004 You will be missed.

Back to Life

Thanks to all of you who commented on my last post. Sorry I didn't respond, but I had that stinking flu forever, and it took all of my energy to make it through my days. Feeling much better now, though.

I did attend our first home basketball game on Monday night. On Thurs., James came up to me after class and said, "Uhhhh, we have our first home game Monday, and uhhhhhh everybody's moms are gonna be there, and uhhhhhhh mine can't come. Uhhhhhhhhh ummmmmm I uhhhhhh will you come watch me"? What am I, made of fucking stone, OF COURSE I went! I dragged my sick ass home to let the dog out, then drove back to school to watch. They were great, and James scored 12 points. I've never liked basketball before, but I really loved watching my kids play- this may replace hockey as my favorite sport! I sat with several other teachers, grading and cheering--it was a wonderful night.

Those of you who were amused by my kids who offered to steal me a copier made me think about myself and the kids I seem to relate well to. At my last job, two of my students were caught trying to steal a car stereo in early Dec. They had heard me telling another teacher that I only have a radio in my car, and they wanted to give me a Christmas present! Two days after Christmas, I received a package in the mail. It was a very nice CD case with about 12 CDs of bands I like (mostly grunge and heavy metal). There was no note, but the box was adressed to "Ms. Tsarina", and no street adress, just my village name. I later found out that there was a string of car burglaries where CDs like these were stolen.... my angels- their hearts are in the right place!

My cat has an appointment Saturday morning. It's very sad, but I also feel relieved. For over a year, I've known this was coming. I've been spending as much time with him as I can, and my vet will let me be in there with him when he does it. I'm going to bury him at my parents' house next to his brother, and each of my other pets who's passed on. I plant something special on each grave to remember them. I'm still trying to decide what will be best for him- I'll study flower books over the winter to decide. I know he will come back to me in one form or another when the time is right, so that makes this all a little easier. Please don't be sad for me- I appreciate the intention, but I really want to send him out of this body with a lot of love and positive energy. If you want to do something for me, get up Saturday morning, and think happy thoughts that my Oswald will move into the next world with peace and comfort. Then cuddle your own furry loved ones, and thank them for finding you- they really are a blessing.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving- Eat and be merry, for tomorrow we shop!

Testy Tsarina

I am grouchy. I still feel a little sick, and I have a shitload of work to do. The kids said I was grouchy on Friday, too. Probably; I still felt like shit, and a lot of them were acting like boneheads- usually leads to teacher meltdown. I spent 65 dollars last week making copies of outlines so they could take notes, and many of them lost them. Why, you ask did I have to pay for copies. Because with 6 copiers in the building, NOT ONE has been working for over 2 weeks. I'm going to buy my own- this is ridiculous. Two of my kids DID offer to steal me one...their hearts are in the right place!

I need to have my cat put to sleep. I'm going to make an appointment for after Thanksgiving, so he can enjoy some leftover turkey. He's been with me for 12 years, and he'll leave a huge hole in my life. He is sweet and loving, and loves to cuddle. He and the dog even get along, and will curl up together on cold nights. My female cat, on the other hand, is irritable and mean, and while I love her, the bond is not the same. She is older than him, but still healthy, except for a little arthritis.

It has been so long that I can't be sure, but I think there's a staff member who is flirting with me. He's in charge of in-school suspensions, so he sees my kids at their worst, but he's really patient and kind. You know my luck with men, so we'll see.

Ok, I've got work to do, and I'm just so damn testy that I can't stand myself. Have a great week.

Progress

Ok, I have begun operating outside of the system. I was speaking to one of the counselors about T, and we have worked out an idea. He pulls him out of social studies (the bitch who suspends him weekly), and brings him to my class to do his work. That is my planning period, so I can help him as needed. Technically, I am violating my contract by taking someone else's job, although I don't think that the evil bitch will care much that he's gone. He came in today and worked really well. I called his mom after school, and before she came to the phone, I could hear her yelling at him asking why his teacher was calling. When she got on the phone and I told her he was doing a great job, she was so excited! I love making that call! Unfortunately, I am sick again, so I won't be there tomorrow to help him, but he knows I'll be back.

Yes, I am freaking sick AGAIN. Four vitamins a day, and I still catch everything. I don't feel so bad, just really tired, and I'm running a fever. God, I hope I get a good sub...forty regular subs have quit. Wimps.

I had my second evaluation this week. The kids were bribed to the teeth, and responded very well. I wasn't too nervous, because I've decided that if that bitch can be allowed to stay, I should be able to set fire to my kids and keep my job.

Ok, I'm gonna go virtual shopping and find some new jeans- apparently stinky dad was right, and my ass is getting bigger! Talk to you soon!

All About Me

It has occurred to me that I am one of the few bloggers who has not written a list about myself. Always one to jump on the bandwagon, I decided to do just that. So, here you go- some interesting (or not) stuff about yours truly:

1. With the exception of Brad Pitt, I have never been attracted to a blonde.
2. When I was little, I creeped my mom out by telling her stories about the family I had BEFORE I lived with my current family (I was around 4).
3. I got my first tattoo when I was 19 to commemorate the first time I voted.
4. I am deathly afraid of snakes, and tend to faint when I see them.
5. I am an excellent judge of character- while sometimes I'll think someone is decent, and then get screwed over by them, I have NEVER said someone was a bad person and been proven wrong.
6. My nephew and I have a psychic bond, and we usually know when the other is upset. In fact, when my sister was pregnant, everyone else thought he was a girl, but I KNEW differently, just like I knew she was pregnant before she said anything.
7. When I see a dead animal beside the road, I always say a brief prayer for its spirit.
8. While I am ashamed to admit it, I have more patience with boys than with girls.
9. So do my mom and grandma
10. When I was little, my dad taught me how to pick locks and hotwire cars.
11. My dad has a lot of friends who've been in prison
12. My dad was in military jail during Vietnam for hitting a superior officer.
13. I've always wished I could sing (so does anyone who's ever ridden in a car with me)
14. I've always felt drawn to Russia and South Dakota... I intend to visit both some day.
15. I love black bears, turtles, and great apes.
16. I prefer animals to people.
17. I need solitude- I rarely feel really lonely.
18. I'm not afraid of death.
19. I am afraid of pain.
20. My favorite color is yellow. My least favorite is blue.
21. I love my dog second only to my nephew.
22. My uncle who died last summer was the first kind man I ever met. I always secretly wished he was my dad.
23. As bad as it makes me feel, every Christmas, I think that our lives would be easier if my dad were dead.
24. I miss smoking weed and think about it daily.
25. When I was 16, I wanted to run away and follow Ozzy around the country.
26. I cry when I see injustice (I cry a lot)
27. It's very hard to embarass me.
28. When someone pisses me off, my first instinct is to punch them...I've learned not to give into that.
29. I have suffered extreme nightmares my whole life.
30. I've always wanted to live in Ireland in a cottage with a thatched roof.
31. I love it when my students question authority, even mine.
32. I prefer irises to roses, and moths to butterflies.
33. I hate WalMart, but find myself there at least twice a week.
34. I am extremely messy.
35. I love cartoons- if it's animated, I'll watch it!
36. If someone starts riding my back bumper to try to make me speed up, I will take my foot completely off the gas and coast until they either pass or back off (I only do this in the right lane; I'm not a complete asshole)
37. My favorite book is To Kill a Mockingbird, and I've read it so much I've worn out two books.
38. I love video games.
39. Gandhi is my personal hero.
40. I hope you all have a great weekend!

Happy Veteran's Day

I have an entire day off with pay! THANK YOU VETERANS! Thank you not only for your sacrifice, but also for allowing me to celebrate that with huge sales at my local shopping emporium!

We had parent/teacher conferences this week. That's a huge boost for the old ego: I received more positive feedback than ever. The bonus of working with an incompetent boob is that it makes you look even better!

I have discovered that I am much more vain than I ever thought. I noticed I was getting a wrinkle last week and freaked out. I went out and bought a professional facial kit for WAY TOO MUCH MONEY! I know how old I really am, but I don't have to look it! I've never been one to worry too much about my appearance, so this vanity is new and scary to me. I don't want to be one of those old women who won't let anyone see her until her "face" is on. Honestly, I don't like to wear much make-up, so this wrinkle BETTER NOT SPREAD!

I was going to clean today, but I've had a brilliant idea for the kids' semester project (I don't like tests), so I need to go buy supplies to make an example for them.

Have a lovely day- and thank a veteran!

A Tough Week

Warning: The following rant contains language that is not appropriate for all family members. If you are offended by swearing, go the fuck away.

Until now, I have not told you about the stupid bitch who is on my team. I had held out hope that she would relax and become a decent teacher. That has not panned out, and I'm done. Our social studies teacher is, as the kids describe her, EVIL. She is an older woman who has gone into teaching later in life, and expects the kids to sit quietly, read the book, fill out worksheets, and actually learn something. She has no interest in trying to teach at their level- for crying out loud- they spent an entire week going over Amendments that were never ratified!!! She is also very disorganized, loses their work (at first I thought the kids were making this up, but there are parents who actually photocopy their kids' work, then hand it in themselves, and she still swears they didn't hand it in)! When one of my kids is suspended or receiving an F, it's usually because of her. The rest of us try to encourage each baby step we see, but all she sees is that the student is not perfect, and berates him/her. I've had BOYS who don't really worry about school, break down in tears at how unfair the situtation is. I keep encouraging the kids that if they have a problem with ANY teacher (even me), to get their parents involved. However, as you can imagine, most of them don't have the PTA type parents.

Last week, when T was suspended for 3 days because of her, I decided I've had enough. I don't care if I'm non-tenured. I don't care if I don't get rehired next year. I don't care if they think I'm a racist and that's why I don't like this bitch. FUCK THEM- my kids deserve a quality education. I went to administration, I went to the student assistance counselors and asked them to monitor her classroom, I have allowed the kids to vent their frustration as they need to (never directly contributing myself). It took every ounce of strength I had not to snatch that fake hair off her head and body slam her into a wall. We have tried to talk to her about her behavior management several times, and she assures us all is well and normal. I refuse to even talk to her any more, or listen when she opens her fat, stupid mouth. While it flies in the face of all that I beleive in-- I hate this cunt and I hope she gets hit by a fucking bus.

I am also sporting a softball-sized bruise on my back. There was a huge fight on Thursday, and while trying to hold the crowd (300+ kids) back, I was nailed in the back with an elbow. In total, two kids will be expelled, five are suspended, and thirteen are on in-school suspension... all girls. Thursday was a rough one. In the melee, I told one of my kids I'd give him 20 extra-credit points if he'd help get people away- he ran the opposite way, and like lemmings to a cliff, about thirty kids followed him to see what was going on- that was worth 20 points to me. I love that kid!

Parent-teacher conferences are Monday night. I'll get out of school, race the 50 miles home, let the dog out, then race back to stay until 8 o'clock, drive the hour home again, only to get up at 4:30 Tues to go to school. We couldn't do it Wed (no school Thurs), because I work with the biggest bunch of churchy people who couldn't give up one night of church to do their fucking job. Don't get me wrong- if someone has beliefs that give them strength and comfort, I'm happy for them. However, my problem with these people (and I've seen it many other times in many other places), is that their attendance in a building is more important to them than helping out someone else. There are four of us who drive at least an hour, and Wed would have been much better for us, but NOOOOOO, we have to show our hypocritical fucking faces in a fucking building, or our God won't love us any more. When I worked retail, one of the girls' mom passed away, and the funeral was Wed night. Of the three "Christians" and myself who worked there, I ended up covering her shift (making a 16 hour day for me), because they all had church. I realize that there are decent people out there of all faiths (and assholes, for that matter), but I'm really tired of certain groups being given preferrence over others. Anyway, I'm beginning to sound like Seeker, so I should go and try to gain some positive energy. Have a great weekend, all.