Mid-Winter Blahs

Ok, I'm back. Still sick- no, Inanna, not mono, although doc can't figure out exactly what's wrong. He's run so many tests that I think I'm low on blood, and all I DO know is it's not HIV, mono, or anything else that they can identify. I've taken so many pills that I'm starting to rattle when I walk. The idea that I think is most possible is an environmental cause. I've been renting this house since the end of October, and have not felt really good since the middle of November.

My boys are sliding fast, and unfortunately, I don't have the energy to slow the momentum. I found out that James has been carrying drugs for a cousin. He lost a large amount of them, and was planning to steal the 200 dollars to pay him back. I paid his debt, and he's promised not to continue with that line of work, but I really feel like I don't know him any more. I know that everyone makes bad choices when they're a teenager, but this is a huge deal. I'm so disappointed in him, and he's so ashamed of himself that he hangs his head whenever I'm around. John is on probation for riding in a stolen truck, and Josh has been skipping class a lot.

Classes are still stormy- kids are hard to work with, and my patience is thin. Ass principal gives me a huge amount of shit because of the problems. To make matters worse, budget cuts are going to require principal to cut 5-7 teachers this year. So, if I stay, I'll have classes of 35+ next year, but if I go, I'll have to start a job search again.

Oh, well, I need to go do my taxes so I can pay more bills. Have a great week.

Tsarina Should Shut Her Stupid Mouth

Greetings, all! Next time I say that all is well, just friggin shoot me! I've spent the past week sicker than I've ever been in my life. Strep throat again, and this was the worst pain I've ever felt. On the upside...doc gave me heavy duty painkillers.

My poor kids had subs for two of us most of the week, and in case I haven't mentioned it before, we don't get the cream of the crop subs. In my class, I got good reports all the way around. In another class, they drove a sub to a mental breakdown! This was an experienced teacher, who retired after 30 years, and has subbed for the district for five. I'm not crazy about her, but I've never seen or heard anything out of line from her. Apparently, she walked out of Amy's 6th hour, went to the office, and requested an ambulance, as she couldn't stop sobbing. No, that is not the sound of giggling you hear coming from me...really it's not... I'm just saying that if you're going to do something, do it well. Anyone can make a sub quit, but in ONE DAY, my kids were able to do what 35 YEARS of others couldn't! Yes, I am so proud...

Really, I'm not taking it lightly, but the trouble is that so many of the old-school teachers have unrealistic expectations. They think that they should walk into a room, the kids should sit silently, listen to a lecture, fill out a worksheet and actually learn from the experience. Maybe that really worked at one time (although I can't imagine it), but studies have shown that modern kids NEED to interact and move in order to retain knowledge. Besides, the whole sitting quietly thing is BORING AS HELL.

I'm trying to find something to do over spring break that will be relaxing and fun without costing a huge amount of money. Amy and I were talking about someplace with palm trees and a poolside bar...think I can find it for under 200 dollars? I've always dreamt of laying on a deserted white sand beach, reading a book undisturbed as the water gently laps at the shore... not terribly exciting, but it's my idea of paradise.

Actually, the idea of not hearing "MS. TSARINA", shouted six million times a day is heavenly. Even in the midst of my illness, I couldn't get a break- waiting for meds at the drugstore, and I hear it called over the speaker. It seems one of my girls from last year was visiting her mom, who's the manager and lets her play with the speakers... lovely. I always enjoy meeting parents when I'm wearing my pajamas and my voice sounds like I've smoked a pack of Luck Strikes while downing a fifth of gin. Note to self: next time use the damn drive thru- forget about wasting gas.

Well, I guess I'm going to go and try to sleep...or play video games, whatever. Have a great weekend.