Happy Holidays

Holiday greetings! I had the most wonderful Christmas in memory. Some strange and amazing things happened that have renewed my faith in miracles. Let me share something that happened on Christmas Eve:

I went to my parents before going to Cruella's for dinner. Normally, I have many gifts for my parents, including stockings. This year, I had one gift. I explained to them that while they didn't get the usual amount, four boys got coats and shoes. MY DAD CRIED. Not gut-wrenching sobs, but he had to wipe his eyes, and went to the other room for a few minutes. I have never seen my dad cry- not even when his own mother died. The weirdest thing? HE WASN'T DRUNK! Maybe there's a heart inside there, after all.

Dinner at Cruella's went well. Eddie and I had a great time- but then, we always do. He's the only other person who can understand exactly how my family makes me feel.

Christmas day, I stayed home and fixed a traditional dinner. A friend came over towards evening, and we got really drunk on Boone's Farm. We watched an interesting documentary, called "Rize". It's about a new form of hip-hop dancing which is becoming popular in L.A. We also watched Charlie and the Chocolate Factory... I was disappointed, to say the least.

I had taken all of the boys shopping so that they could get gifts for their family. James got his dad a nice watch, his mom (barf) a beautiful necklace, and the picture for his grandma. He was so pleased to be giving his family gifts- he's never done that before. In fact, they've never given or received gifts on Christmas before. James told me that their grandma used to go shopping after Christmas to buy them gifts on sale.

Josh, his dad, and an uncle came over last night and played Pictionary. We had a good time, but I think that Josh was a little unnerved that his dad was obviously hitting on me. He's not the brightest guy in the world, but there is some strange animal magnetism coming from him. Hmmmm.... ;-)

Back To Work

Well, the contract was ratified, and we returned to work last Monday. The changes, you ask? Nada. The high school day is slightly shorter (10 minutes), but that's it. And my raise? Originally, the district was offering a pretty good chunk of change to those of us lower on the pay scale, and a smaller one to the top end...you know, the people on our bargaining committee... My raise now is around 50 dollars a month. Whoopie!!! For that, my kids feel like they were abandoned for 8 days.

And they do feel that they were abandoned. As I've mentioned, it takes our kids a long time to trust people, and this class is especially tough. Now, with many of them, it's back to the beginning. I'll have to admit, though, that on Monday when we came back, I was overwhelmed with hugs before school as they came in. It's an amazing feeling to know that someone is so happy to see you, and I am so blessed to be able to do what I do.

I'm supposed to take James to get his grandma's Christmas present this morning. We went Monday after school and ordered her a beautiful picture of the Chicago skyline with the water moving in the foreground. He's out of minutes on his phone, and he stayed at an aunt's last night with no phone, so I can't reach him. That's ok with me, as it's snowing and I don't really want to drive the 45 minutes to pick it up. If I don't hear from him pretty soon, we'll just go tomorrow after school. I think I may go get a Christmas tree this afternoon and see if Josh wants to go.

Josh is in my homeroom now, and I wish I could get him into my class. He receives special ed services, and two of the teachers he has to take classes with are TERRIBLE. They both are constant screamers, and they don't seem to understand that their kids don't always learn like other kids. His reading teacher was explaining that she simply gives him a book to read and expects him to read it and answer questions. She feels that the only thing special ed means is that they receive extra time to do things. My jaw dropped. I have seen his IEP, and I've worked with him. His reading comprehension is extremely low. (Actually, I'd guess he's at about the same level as James, although James never received special ed services). If you ask him to read a couple of paragraphs aloud and then talk about it, he can understand, but to do it on his own, he's lost. This is the only school I've ever been to where the spec ed teachers are not rabid advocates for their students...it's creepy.

I'd like to ask you to say a prayer for Kendall (real name). He's one of my kids. Yesterday before school, he came up, looking sad. That's not like him, so I asked how he was doing. He told me that his mom had died the previous night. I asked why he was at school, and he said, "I don't have anywhere else to go". My heart broke. His birth mom died when he was five, and he was adopted by this mom. She was in her 30s. Apparently she had an infection that moved into her heart. I referred him to my favorite counselor, Brad. Kendall said that talking with Brad helped a lot, but I'm worried about him, especially with the holiday so near. Your good thoughts and prayers for him would help.

Have a great weekend, and know that I feel blessed to know all of you.

John

I have planning period first hour. This is the time when I'm supposed to be able to work on class stuff, but it never works out that way. The second week of school, I spotted John wandering around in the hallways during this time. I asked where he was supposed to be, and with his sly smile, he said he'd just gotten to school. I looked at his pass, and saw it was from fifteen minutes before.

He said he was late because they didn't have any lotion at home, so I took him to my classroom. I always have lotion for the kids. I told him to use some, and come back at the end of the day and he could have it. I began talking to him, asking about his grandma who was in the hospital. I began asking about basketball, which is the most important thing to all of the boys in their family. I asked if he wanted to play this year. I knew he'd been kept from the team because of his grades the previous year. He gave a slight nod, not wanting to seem too eager. [Something I've learned about John is that he feels like he's failed so often, that he tends to either not try at all, or sabotage his own chances]. We worked out a deal, where I promised that if he'd come in 2 days a week after school and really work on his homework, I'd guarantee that his grades wouldn't keep him off the team. His eyes lit up.

He was as good as his word; often coming in 3 days a week. He worked extremely hard in my room, and we talked and joked. He loves to tease me, and our relationship reminds me of mine and Eddie's. The problem was that he continued to skip class. His social studies bitch...er, teacher was infuriated that I was helping him. She feels that if he's struggling in her class, he should come to HER. While I agree to a certain extent, the fact is that not all kids are going to be comfortable with all of their teachers, so if they find someone that they can ask for help, be happy. She finally said that she would not give him credit for any work he did in my room.

In spite of this, he remained optomistic about playing basketball. I took the boys to get their sports physicals. Then the athletic director told me that John was too old to play for 7th grade. Terribly upset, and unsure how to break it to him, I confided this to Danny, a teacher in my hallway. Danny smiled, and told me that he was going to coach 8th grade, and he'd let John try out. John continued working. He was still not a model student at this point, and probably skipped 2-3 classes a week, but that was better than before.

Basketball tryouts came. After the first practice, Danny was excited with all of the talent, especially John. In spite of a low social studies grade, John was in the forefront of the pack. The last day of tryouts came. I didn't see John before school, but assumed he would arrive late. By lunch, he still wasn't there, and I called home. They believed he had gone to school- he was skipping. After school, Danny came to my room looking for John. He hoped John had come in for tutoring. I told him John was skipping school. We stared at each other sadly for a minute, and he crossed something off the clipboard he was carrying. John had sabotaged his chance at playing on the school team.

Tsarina Rambles

Ok, I'm depressed. Tomorrow begins day six of the strike. I miss everything about my job- the kids, the principal, even the obnoxious Ass principal. My boys went back to Chicago to visit family. This scares me, as I'm afraid Grandma is considering moving back up there with them. I guess since I have time, I could share some of the events of the past few months.

James failed his first quarter in high school. I went to visit some of the classes, and was apalled by the way my kids are treated. No book? GET OUT. No pen? GET OUT. Tardy? GET OUT. They're called names like lazy and slow with me sitting right there- how are they treated when I'm not there? His grandma has given me written permission to take care of school-related matters on her behalf, so we've gotten him on the list for the alternative school, which would (hopefully) get him caught up with his class.

John is currently expelled and will attend an alternative school when we get back. I've been working very closely with him this year, and come to love him as much as his brother. John is very different than James. John is considered the "bad one" in the family, which is an image I've been working to change. He's in 7th grade for the third time, not for lack of intelligence, but lack of motivation. In fact, I believe he's probably the brightest of the boys. John is funny and bratty, but will occasionally surprise me with something really sweet. I had been having him come in after school for tutoring twice a week; one day he was especially active and not focusing- totally driving me nuts. When he sat down, he whispered so the other kids in the room couldn't hear, "I left you a message". I went to the board behind the TV, and there was a message, "John and Jesus love you". Who could stay mad? He got in a fight a couple of weeks ago, and according to the new rules, was asked 3 times to stop but did not comply, so he's expelled. I miss him terribly.

I've been spending a lot of time with the boys, and their family. Their grandma reminds me of mine, very loving but very strong. She and I have discussed the possibility of my taking custody of the boys, at least John. I had been seeing all of them every day, and if I didn't see James, he'd at least call to let me know how his day was.

I think part of my mood has to do with their absence. I've only talked to them once in four days, and I worry. Ok, I'm tired now, so I'll share more about this at a later time.

Striking Sucks

Ok, the first couple of days were pretty cool. I slept late, enjoyed time with friends, and got in a little action that would never have happened if I had to work the next day. Now, I'm just ready to get back to work. I miss my kids, my boys are still in Chicago, and I haven't heard from them, and my bathroom is overrun with hamsters.

The saga of the hamsters began a few weeks ago, when two of my girls needed to find homes for their hamsters, which they assured me were both male. Not being one to look at a hamster's genitalia, I took their word. (Go ahead and laugh). Within a month, I came in on a Monday to find six squirming bundles of hairless joy. Immediately, I got Amy to take the male for her class, and let the kids watch the babies grow. After a couple of weeks, the babies were big enough to leave, so with parental approval, I planned to deliver most of them to students. I decided to keep one, that I named Quinten, after a student. On a Friday, I put the mom in a separate container with the smallest baby to allow him to eat, and I planned to deliver the rest on Monday. Again, I came in on a Monday to find four more squirming bundles. Apparently, mom was VERY FOND of one of her kids. So now, Quinten is in one cage, and mom and the new batch are in another one. As soon as those eyes are open, the little bastards are gone, along with mom.

There's also the problem that my insurance will run out on the 15th if we're still on strike. Have I mentioned that I finally got on my meds, and am much more stress-free?

Thank God I took James, John, Josh, and Jimmy and bought them new winter coats as an early Christmas present, and I've already bought John's birthday present. You should have seen them picking out coats- they've NEVER had brand new coats, and it almost made me cry to see how thrilled they were. The ones they picked out were actually pretty inexpensive, but they were so happy. I've found out a few things that break my heart about their early lives. Apparently, you may have heard about them being removed from Mom's custody a few years ago in Chicago. James seems to have forgiven her, and was really excited to get to see her this weekend when they go up for the funerals. I understand she was on drugs, but these are beautiful children, and I don't understand how she could hurt them. One little sister died, which was when they were removed and came down here with Dad and his family.

Anyway, I'm gonna go bathe and plan for another fabulous day of lounging.

Have a great day.