Happy

Can't wipe this stupid smile off of my face. For one brief moment, everything in my life is going well (knock on wood). James is doing great at home-school... he comes to my house during the day and is completing work while I'm at school. His work isn't as great as I'd like, but he is at least trying.

His dad and I are seeing each other pretty regularly. We went out to celebrate Amy's divorce last night, and he said and did all of the right things. My friends all like him, and he likes them. He just makes me smile, and it's been a long time since anyone did that. Of course, I'm constantly wondering when he'll do something awful, but hey, that's just me.

On the work front, I had a great week. Went to two conferences, and the kids were great for the subs! Then, when I returned, they were great for me too. I'm just praying that this is the turning point, and things are going to start to look up. It's really hard, because as a group, they are intellectually WAY below where they should be. I have started offering a choice of two lab activities, so that the higher level students will still be challenged.

I can't believe that I'm getting sick again. I just finished three courses of antibiotics. Yesterday, my throat began swelling again, and I was running a fever. It broke sometime in the night, but I think I'm getting strep again. I'm considering having my tonsils out this summer.

Ok, I'm going to go- Josh has basketball today, and I can't wait to watch him play! Love to you all, and keep smiling!

...And Then He Kissed Me

Good news all around. The kid with the gun was caught on other charges and is going to be spending a significant amount of time in a confined setting. His friends don't seem to want to continue his grudge against James.

I did have a rough day yesterday with two of my favorite kids in fifth hour. I ended up pulling each of them into the hallway and calling home. I hate to do that, but it lets the kids know that I won't be talked to in a disrespectful manner, and it makes the parents aware of any problems. Some parents are no help, but most really want to be involved with the kids' lives. Last night, there was a dance, and I was really dreading going because I knew they'd be there and they'd still be angry.

Immediately after I arrived, Sean came up and hugged me and said "I'm really sorry about today". The really cool thing was that he did it in front of others and he was sincere. I thanked him with tears in my eyes. Later, Brad did the same thing. I told him that his apology meant more to me than he would ever know, and I meant it. Maybe I'm not having the same successes with this group of kids as I did last year, but you've got to celebrate each minor victory.

I went out with James' dad last night. We were planning to take the boys to Chicago this weekend to visit their (barf) mom, so he called while I was at the dance to make plans. I asked what he was doing, and invited him to go out with us afterward. We went out with everyone from work and had a great time. We left before midnight to pick up the boys from a teen club. James and John had gotten tired of waiting, and walked away, so we spent the next hour looking for them. James wasn't answering his phone, and I was really worried. Finally, we heard from them; they were at a cousin's house, and their dad was going to go get them. I said goodbye, and then he kissed me :-)

January is a Tough Month

I know, I know, it's been a while. There's been a lot going on lately- most of it unpleasant.

I've been battling strep throat and pneumonia for a couple of weeks now. I haven't had a voice for over a week, which makes it hard to do my job. On the bright side, two of my classes have turned a corner, and were really good because they knew I was sick. Last year, I could have counted on all of my classes to help me out, but this is a whole new bunch of kids, and I'm considering this a step in the right direction.

I truly wish that my health were the thing I was most worried about. Right now, my biggest concern is James. He hasn't been himself for a while, and I now know why. After guessing all of the obvious things-pregnant girlfriend, STD, normal teenage angst, I've found out that he has become a target. There was a lockdown at his school this past week, after a girl spotted a gun. The gun was never found (I won't go through the 3 Stooges-style security implemented). Josh came to me and told me that the kid who had it was the one James has been having problems with, and was looking for James. James asked me about transferring to a school out of the city. After the horrors he's seen in his life, for him to be concerned makes me even more worried.

Apparantly, the kid wouldn't give James his money (James and John often play basketball for money). James beat him up, without knowing the connections the kid has. It seems that the kid is a member of a well-known and powerful gang. James keeps insisting that he's not afraid, but is very persistent about switching schools. I'm investigating home-school options, but he's not crazy about the idea (there aren't any girls).

My boss's wife works at the high school, and he suggested to me on Thursday that I get James out of town for the weekend. His dad was going to take the boys to Chicago for the weekend, but their plans seem to be on hold again. The boys agreed to stay home last night, but tonight is Saturday, and they'll want to go out, and that scares the shit out of me. There are always shootings at the skating rink where they like to go, and the theater isn't much safer. My hat is off to all of you who are parents- how do you manage to maintain a normal life, knowing that your kids are in such an unsafe world?

On the work front, there is very little to discuss. While I do love my kids, they make me crazy. They're very different from any group I've ever worked with. Individually, they are great, but together, they are wild. I haven't been able to do as many labs with them as I would like because of behavior issues. In my 3rd hour class, only six of the 33 kids have earned the right to do the lab next week. I'm at wit's end, and would be worse if every other 8th grade teacher weren't in the same boat. Normally, by this time of year, I have earned their respect to the point that misbehavior is kept to a minimum. This year, however, I'm not feeling that. I have written more office referrals this year than the past three years combined! I think that my laid-back style makes them think that I'm a pushover, and I have to keep up the hardass front. It's exhausting.

Ok, my meds are kicking in, and I'm going to take a nap. If you have a little extra time, a prayer for James would be appreciated. Love to you all.