On a Lighter Note

Normally, when someone sends me a chain email, I delete it. Have I mentioned that I have a little bit of extra time on my hands lately? So, I was supposed to get the replies to this and send them back to the person who sent it to me as a way to help her get to know me better. Well, since that was a student, I chose not to send it back, but I thought you might enjoy seeing how my friends view me.

What do you like most about Tsarina?
B- She has a wicked sense of humor and can always find pleasure in my pain
Diana- She's extremely intuitive. She understands how people are feeling and the best way to reach them. It's almost creepy.
Caren- Tsarina is the most helpful, selfless person I've ever met.
Amy- We never stop laughing.
Ellie- I don't like anything about her, she's a bitch, plain and simple. Oh, wait, that is what I like about her!

What song reminds you of her most, and why?
B- the Star Trek theme because she gets all goofy and excited when she hears it, or Take it Easy by the Eagles because we used to get drunk and sing it loudly
Diana- The song "Talk Dirty To Me" reminds me most of Tsarina, because she has the FILTHIEST mouth of anyone I have ever known!
Caren- You've Got a Friend, by James Taylor always reminds me of Tsarina. We first met when I lived near her, and I had a major catastrophe. Tsarina was the first person on the scene, and even though we had only talked a couple of times, she opened her arms and hugged me. She followed through, making sure I was taken care of.
Amy- I think Nelly's Flap Your Wings will remind me of her forever. The other night, we were in my convertible, and Tsarina was standing on the seat, dancing to it. Did I mention that we were moving at the time? The girl is crazy.
Ellie- No doubt about it, Meredith Brooks 'I'm a Bitch'- self explanitory

What fictional character reminds you most of Tsarina, and why?
B- Cliff Claven on Cheers. Because she's full of useless knowledge, maybe real maybe not, who knows and who cares?
Diana- Lisa Simpson. I say this partly because Tsarina says it all the time, but also because she has the same desire for knowledge and the same sense of right and wrong. Also, Tsarina needs to comb her hair more often.
Caren- Tsarina reminds me of Mary Ann on Gilligan's Island because she can always find a bright side.
I should note here that I think Caren has started smoking crack or something.
Amy- Maybe some weird combination of a Borg from Star Trek and Mary Poppins. When Tsarina is focused on what she wants, NOTHING is going to get in her way. On the other hand, everything she does is ultimately for the good of the kids she's in charge of.
Ellie- A James Bond villain- who else would send me this stupid letter to torture me?

So, there it is folks, just a little sampling of how my friends feel about me (the entire questionarre was 10 questions, so Ellie is right, it does suck! heheheehe)

Education, Politics, etc

Something most of you don't realize about me is that I am extremely outspoken in my real life about my political views. I don't put that in here, because quite frankly, it's nice not to have to defend my opinions to anyone else. Jam Daddy and I are polar opposites politically, but he's always been very respectful of my views, and expresses his own in a polite manner. The following rant is political. Read it or don't read it- I wrote it for myself. If you disagree with this, that is fine- that is YOUR opinion, and you are free to write your own blog and share it. You are welcome to tell me that you disagree, but do so with respect. This is, after all, MY blog, and one thing I love about being an American is that I'm free to express my opinions.

Ok, I've just broken one very important rule for those of us who work in public education...I figured up my salary as if I were being paid hourly. Boy, that puts things into perspective. I figured the 11 hours I'm at school a day, plus the (conservative) estimate of 10 hours on the weekend, plus the (again conservative estimate) of 20 hours a week I've been putting in so far this summer and assuming this will continue (actually, in August, I will be meeting with my team twice weekly, which will up the total), and not counting meetings...

I make $8.76 an hour.

Dear Mr. President,

I am an educator in a large, urban school district. I love my job and my students and I'm grateful and honored to have been given this opportunity.

The reason for this letter, sir, is that it has come to my attention that I actually make about the same per hour as the 17 year-old working at Taco Bell. Obviously, no one goes into teaching with the intention that they are going to make a lot of money. I simply felt that you should be aware of this fact. You see, I remember you promising to make education a priority, sir. I am sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but by paying me the same as someone at the drive-thru window, aren't you telling me that my services are valued on an equal level? The message (and correct me if I'm wrong), that I get from this is, while it's convenient for me to be there, you could easily fill my position if I were to leave.

Unfortunately, sir, this is also the message that my students are taking away from this. They used the computer skills (which I taught them) to access public records about the salaries of our district employees. They discovered that the head custodian makes almost $10,000 more than most of their teachers. They talked with him and discovered that in addition to not attending college, he did not graduate from high school (although it should be noted that he did get his GED at a later date). Well, sir, imagine the glee they felt in telling me that attending college was not necessary: in fact, many felt that high school was a waste of their time.

Sir, perhaps in some schools, this would not be a problem. In families where parents are highly educated, they make their child's education a priority. In my district, however, we do not have that luxury. Many of our parents struggle to put food on their tables. You see, most are unemployed or underemployed. I believe that you and I can agree that if these parents were better educated themselves, the situation would be better. Due to many different circumstances, this is not generally the case. I will not stand and point fingers and say that these problems are someone else's fault. Honestly, sir, I DON'T CARE WHOSE FAULT THEY ARE. I just want solutions.

I want you to stop focusing all of our time and money on death and destruction. I want you to start actually LISTENING to the UN. Just so you know, sir, America is NOT the only country with positive ideas to contribute. We can and we do make mistakes. We need to own up to our mistakes, apologize, and move on. We can not continue pumping money into outdated ideologies and one-dimensional world perspectives. Sir, we need to bring the young men and women who have risked everything HOME. When you've done that, sir, we can actually start focusing our attention and our money on other things. Things like social programs to help young people with babies become the parents that their children deserve. Or, how about programs to encourage young people to stay in school (studies have shown that when women are better educated, the unplanned pregnancy rate drops).

By raising the income level of those of us who work with these students, you are demonstrating to them that our services are valuable. You are telling them that we have something more important to offer them than a taco and a Pepsi.

Perhaps I am a bit naive, sir, but it seems to me that in the long run, by improving education in our country, you will be improving life in the world. ***Imagine if you will, thirty years from now, a young woman is being honored for helping solve the world's hunger problem. When speaking, she mentions that she came from an economically disadvantaged background, but that because education was valued, she stayed in school. Because her parents and her teachers were supportive, she worked to put herself through college. Because her peers had been told by their parents that having children as a teenager would limit choices, she did not get pregnant. Now, she was able to solve a crisis affecting the world. Maybe one of the children she saved from starvation would grow up to do great things also...

Life is a cycle, sir. Everything we put forth will return to us one day. Let the United States put forth a generation of educated, compassionate young people.

Thank you for your time,

Tsarina

Conferences, Co-Workers, and Crap

I'm back from the conference, and you'll be glad to know I survived! The conference itself was GREAT!!! I can't wait to share all of the information I got.

Actually, N wasn't as bad as I expected. The first night, we all went out to dinner then for a few drinks. The second day, Tina joined us. We went to a beautiful vinyard, where we consumed a huge amount of wine, then we went to dinner, and out dancing... well, Tina went dancing. I am beginning to remember why I don't have many girlfriends. Let me begin by telling you that Sue and I are the only single women in our group of friends. Tina, N, everyone else is married (Amy is getting a divorce, but she'd NEVER act like I'm about to describe).

So, we get to the club, and we sit down with a drink. Two guys sit at the table next to ours- one of them is quite hot. He and I did the "eye flirt dance" for a little while, and I was planning to finish my conversation with the girls, then ask him to dance. Tina has been watching the eye contact, and slides over next to him, asking him to dance, while moving seductively in his face. They walked away. We had been planning to get back early, since the final day of the conference started early. Tina and N stayed at the club, letting Sue and I (the single women, remember) go back to the hotel. They stumbled in around 4:30, and didn't make it to the conference which our district paid a huge amount of money for us to attend.

I should let you know that this is the second time Tina has known that I was interested in someone, and done this. I realize it's a sign of insecurity, but wtf does she have to be insecure about? She's blonde, tan, has a great body and a hot husband. On the other hand, I know that the next time I see her, she'll have some gift she saw and "just thought of" me. The really sucky thing is that Tina is going to be on my team next year, so I can't really confront her about this behavior.

OHHHHH, I almost forgot to tell you... our principal was at the conference on the second day (before we went to the vineyard). He was talking with another principal he knows from a Chicago school district much like ours. Apparently, he said some really complementary things about me, and later the principal pulled me aside and OFFERED ME A JOB! I am so proud to say that in spite of the fact that it was A LOT ($10,000) more money, and he offered to pay all moving expenses, including buying my house if it didn't sell, I wasn't tempted. Don't get me wrong, the money would be nice, but it's more important to me that I stay true to my word: I gave my principal my word that I'd be back, and there are kids coming into my class next year to whom I gave my word that I'd be there for them. It does feel good to be in high demand, though.

Ok, I've got a lot of work to do- tomorrow I'm going to share much of the information I got with one of the committees I'm on. Thanks for listening.

Have a beautiful day!

Take the Shot

http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=2213&e=3&u=/ap/bkh_ryan_s_shot

A beautiful story with a message about never giving up: I'm going to use this one in advisory to talk about the way we treat those who are different.

My Birthday and Everything Else Sucks Donkey Balls

As I have previously mentioned: MY BIRTHDAY ALWAYS SUCKS. It's always some fucked-up, Tim Burton/Quentin Tarantino version of "Sixteen Candles". Now, let me just explain one thing that took me many hours in therapy to understand:
MY CHILDHOOD WAS FUCKED UP.

Every birthday and holiday were ruined by some huge battle between my parents. I remember actually saying to them on my 7th birthday, "It's my birthday; couldn't you just fight an extra time tomorrow?" Of course, my sister found that hysterical and began making fun of me for being a crybaby...Dysfunction- the gift that keeps on giving.

So, Tuesday I went to the city, where several of my coworkers were going to take me out to "celebrate" my big day. Ok, I set myself up for disappointment by thinking it would be fun. Now, my friend, Amy (yeah, it's her real name, so sue me), did a great job- she picked me up in the convertible, we cruised the hood looking for our kids, then went to the adult bookstore, before meeting everyone at the bar. I really like most of my coworkers...most. N is the exception. I have tried, really tried to like her, but I've come to the conclusion that she is just mean-spirited to her core. Now, I'll allow that she is only 23, and was raised with money, both of which will fuck you up, but geez... I'll never understand how the two women who are usually with her don't see this nastiness- they're both great, and I really enjoy them.

Ok, on with this year's trauma... Over the past few years, I have gained some weight. I'm not monstrous, but as women well know- it's hard to find cute clothes if you're not a size 2. Given my limited funds, most of my clothes are "school appropriate". However, I thought I looked pretty cute Tues night--- apparently not. Under the guise of being friendly and helpful (women, you know what I mean), N began to rip apart my clothes. If this were the first time, I wouldn't have been so hurt, but I'm tired of hearing it. Anyway, that is something I'm sensitive about (and she knows it), so she managed to make me feel like shit. Amy was gone by that time, and she's the only other person who really sees N for the manipulative bitch that she is. I should note here that Amy is good friends with our principal (the good one, not the Ass), so N rarely does this shit in front of her.

Also, Tuesday, I found out that N is going to be spending 2 1/2 days with myself and Sue next week at a conference (Sue thinks N is great, so I'm really looking forward to it). What karmic holocost have I committed to deserve this?

I guess on the bright side, my mom remembered my birthday this year- she called and told my machine Happy Birthday! Also, I got an email from a student, which was very thoughtful. Ok, I'm going to go feel sorry for myself a little while longer...have a good day.

I'M BACK

Yes, Tsarina IS alive, although I was afraid I might die of lonliness during my extended absence. I can't wait to visit all of you soon.

The following is part of a letter I wrote to a former professor of mine on the last day of school. That day was such a surreal experience that I still can't believe it really happened.

"If I ever had any doubts about the “Middle School Concept”, they were laid to rest last Thursday. As I watched 700+ students leaving for the summer, I knew that we were doing the right thing.

(Our school) began this year with 50% new staff. We have worked very hard this year to meet not only the testable needs of our students, but also their emotional needs. It is important to realize that their emotional needs are enormous. Many of our kids were born addicted to drugs, have suffered unfathomable abuse and degradation at the hands of those who were supposed to care for them, and have one or more parents in prison.

In September they arrived, as unsure of us as we were of them. Each kid seemed a little harder than the one next to him, and I’ll admit that a couple of them were pretty intimidating. However, I decided in those first days that failure was not an option for any of them, no matter how many times they had failed in the past. It became my personal mission to find something positive in each of them.

Within a week, it became apparent that they wanted me to find the good in them as much as I wanted to find it. It was then that it really sunk in that even though many of them looked like adults (several of my kids were 16), they were still emotionally little kids. I suppose it makes sense- if your needs aren’t met when you’re 6, you’ll still have those same needs as you grow.

Out of my 110 kids, I picked 10 who seemed like they needed something extra, and I made positive calls home. The one that stands out most in my mind was for a 16 year-old who would become the shining star of my year. He came to class with a huge attitude, sat in the back, wouldn’t look me in the eye, and mumbled so that I couldn’t understand much that he said. After he had helped me pass out things in class, I called home and told his Grandma how helpful he was and how much I was looking forward to having such a thoughtful young man in my class. She was dumbfounded- and kept repeating, “He’s not in trouble then? He said he was gonna do good this year”. He came to class the next day with a look of such deep pleasure that I could have cried. I believe that one phone call set the tone for our entire year together.

I made it a point to continue with the positive calls whenever possible, and my team dedicated one day a month to “Good News Notes”, where we would write to the parents of students whom we felt were doing something great in one or more classes.

In my class, too, I continued to address more than just science, to the dismay of several “experienced” teachers. I followed my instincts, though, and when I knew the kids needed to talk about something important, we talked. One morning, there was a near-riot before school. I used that as an opportunity to talk with each of my classes about the ways they choose to solve their problems. I discovered that even my most hardcore kids HATE the violence in their lives. They long for peace, but they have never been given the skills to help them solve problems in peaceful ways. After that, whenever the opportunity arose, we would look at situations where someone made good choices to resolve problems.

It never ceases to amaze me how kids who have been given so little have such huge, giving hearts. Early in the year, hurricanes damaged many impoverished countries, and my kids wanted to help. They found a church group who was taking donations, and they brought clothes, toys, and books. When the tsunami devastated Asia, they again wanted to ease the suffering. One team collected two carloads of canned goods. Our team raised two hundred dollars for the Red Cross. If you realize that about 90% of our kids are on free or reduced lunch, the enormity of their generosity is apparent.

At one point during the year, I had about 25 kids suspended, and I was frustrated with them. I blurted out to one of my classes that some of their choices were really annoying me, because I missed them terribly when they were gone. They sat, mouths hanging open for a minute before someone spoke. He asked if I seriously missed EVERYONE when they were absent. I looked him in the eye and emphatically said, “YES”. I looked at the 16 year-old whose grandma I had called earlier in the year. His eyes were huge, as he said, “I never had a teacher say that she missed me. They was always glad I was gone”. The entire class agreed that no one had ever told them something like that before. I never had another serious behavior problem with that hour.

My entire year progressed this way: I focused first on them as people, then on them as students. In my heart, I have known all year that I was doing the right thing for these kids, but I’ll admit that it’s hard to face the disapproval from old-school types. I was very lucky to find about 10 others whose philosophy is very much like mine, and we found strength in each other, avoiding the teacher’s lounge and it’s negativity and gossip.

Thursday was our last day of school, and that was when all of our hard work was shown for the world to see. Traditionally, (our city's) schools have a ridiculous number of fights on the last day of school. We had 4 police officers on duty at the end of the day. Instead of ringing bells, administrators quietly went to each individual teacher at the end of the day and told us to escort our class out the nearest door to their buses. As I reached the front of the building with my 20 sobbing students, I witnessed a sight I’ll never forget. Every teacher who had worked to meet the emotional needs of our kids was mobbed by hundreds of crying kids, each trying to get one last hug. THE KIDS DID NOT WANT TO LEAVE! Many of us were wearing T-shirts that we’d had our students sign, and we stood in front of the school, waving to them as they hung out the bus windows telling us goodbye and that they loved us. There was not one fight.

I don’t know if my students’ test scores will show enough progress to convince the politicians that I’m doing my job. But, I wish those same politicians could have been in my school this year and witnessed the inner progress that has occurred. While I know I will miss them, I truly believe they have discovered ways to be successful, and I know that they are moving on to bigger and better things."

To all of my blogger friends whom I have missed terribly- this has been the BEST year of my life, and I thank you all for sharing it with me!