I'M BACK

Yes, Tsarina IS alive, although I was afraid I might die of lonliness during my extended absence. I can't wait to visit all of you soon.

The following is part of a letter I wrote to a former professor of mine on the last day of school. That day was such a surreal experience that I still can't believe it really happened.

"If I ever had any doubts about the “Middle School Concept”, they were laid to rest last Thursday. As I watched 700+ students leaving for the summer, I knew that we were doing the right thing.

(Our school) began this year with 50% new staff. We have worked very hard this year to meet not only the testable needs of our students, but also their emotional needs. It is important to realize that their emotional needs are enormous. Many of our kids were born addicted to drugs, have suffered unfathomable abuse and degradation at the hands of those who were supposed to care for them, and have one or more parents in prison.

In September they arrived, as unsure of us as we were of them. Each kid seemed a little harder than the one next to him, and I’ll admit that a couple of them were pretty intimidating. However, I decided in those first days that failure was not an option for any of them, no matter how many times they had failed in the past. It became my personal mission to find something positive in each of them.

Within a week, it became apparent that they wanted me to find the good in them as much as I wanted to find it. It was then that it really sunk in that even though many of them looked like adults (several of my kids were 16), they were still emotionally little kids. I suppose it makes sense- if your needs aren’t met when you’re 6, you’ll still have those same needs as you grow.

Out of my 110 kids, I picked 10 who seemed like they needed something extra, and I made positive calls home. The one that stands out most in my mind was for a 16 year-old who would become the shining star of my year. He came to class with a huge attitude, sat in the back, wouldn’t look me in the eye, and mumbled so that I couldn’t understand much that he said. After he had helped me pass out things in class, I called home and told his Grandma how helpful he was and how much I was looking forward to having such a thoughtful young man in my class. She was dumbfounded- and kept repeating, “He’s not in trouble then? He said he was gonna do good this year”. He came to class the next day with a look of such deep pleasure that I could have cried. I believe that one phone call set the tone for our entire year together.

I made it a point to continue with the positive calls whenever possible, and my team dedicated one day a month to “Good News Notes”, where we would write to the parents of students whom we felt were doing something great in one or more classes.

In my class, too, I continued to address more than just science, to the dismay of several “experienced” teachers. I followed my instincts, though, and when I knew the kids needed to talk about something important, we talked. One morning, there was a near-riot before school. I used that as an opportunity to talk with each of my classes about the ways they choose to solve their problems. I discovered that even my most hardcore kids HATE the violence in their lives. They long for peace, but they have never been given the skills to help them solve problems in peaceful ways. After that, whenever the opportunity arose, we would look at situations where someone made good choices to resolve problems.

It never ceases to amaze me how kids who have been given so little have such huge, giving hearts. Early in the year, hurricanes damaged many impoverished countries, and my kids wanted to help. They found a church group who was taking donations, and they brought clothes, toys, and books. When the tsunami devastated Asia, they again wanted to ease the suffering. One team collected two carloads of canned goods. Our team raised two hundred dollars for the Red Cross. If you realize that about 90% of our kids are on free or reduced lunch, the enormity of their generosity is apparent.

At one point during the year, I had about 25 kids suspended, and I was frustrated with them. I blurted out to one of my classes that some of their choices were really annoying me, because I missed them terribly when they were gone. They sat, mouths hanging open for a minute before someone spoke. He asked if I seriously missed EVERYONE when they were absent. I looked him in the eye and emphatically said, “YES”. I looked at the 16 year-old whose grandma I had called earlier in the year. His eyes were huge, as he said, “I never had a teacher say that she missed me. They was always glad I was gone”. The entire class agreed that no one had ever told them something like that before. I never had another serious behavior problem with that hour.

My entire year progressed this way: I focused first on them as people, then on them as students. In my heart, I have known all year that I was doing the right thing for these kids, but I’ll admit that it’s hard to face the disapproval from old-school types. I was very lucky to find about 10 others whose philosophy is very much like mine, and we found strength in each other, avoiding the teacher’s lounge and it’s negativity and gossip.

Thursday was our last day of school, and that was when all of our hard work was shown for the world to see. Traditionally, (our city's) schools have a ridiculous number of fights on the last day of school. We had 4 police officers on duty at the end of the day. Instead of ringing bells, administrators quietly went to each individual teacher at the end of the day and told us to escort our class out the nearest door to their buses. As I reached the front of the building with my 20 sobbing students, I witnessed a sight I’ll never forget. Every teacher who had worked to meet the emotional needs of our kids was mobbed by hundreds of crying kids, each trying to get one last hug. THE KIDS DID NOT WANT TO LEAVE! Many of us were wearing T-shirts that we’d had our students sign, and we stood in front of the school, waving to them as they hung out the bus windows telling us goodbye and that they loved us. There was not one fight.

I don’t know if my students’ test scores will show enough progress to convince the politicians that I’m doing my job. But, I wish those same politicians could have been in my school this year and witnessed the inner progress that has occurred. While I know I will miss them, I truly believe they have discovered ways to be successful, and I know that they are moving on to bigger and better things."

To all of my blogger friends whom I have missed terribly- this has been the BEST year of my life, and I thank you all for sharing it with me!