Tsarina Rambles

Ok, I'm depressed. Tomorrow begins day six of the strike. I miss everything about my job- the kids, the principal, even the obnoxious Ass principal. My boys went back to Chicago to visit family. This scares me, as I'm afraid Grandma is considering moving back up there with them. I guess since I have time, I could share some of the events of the past few months.

James failed his first quarter in high school. I went to visit some of the classes, and was apalled by the way my kids are treated. No book? GET OUT. No pen? GET OUT. Tardy? GET OUT. They're called names like lazy and slow with me sitting right there- how are they treated when I'm not there? His grandma has given me written permission to take care of school-related matters on her behalf, so we've gotten him on the list for the alternative school, which would (hopefully) get him caught up with his class.

John is currently expelled and will attend an alternative school when we get back. I've been working very closely with him this year, and come to love him as much as his brother. John is very different than James. John is considered the "bad one" in the family, which is an image I've been working to change. He's in 7th grade for the third time, not for lack of intelligence, but lack of motivation. In fact, I believe he's probably the brightest of the boys. John is funny and bratty, but will occasionally surprise me with something really sweet. I had been having him come in after school for tutoring twice a week; one day he was especially active and not focusing- totally driving me nuts. When he sat down, he whispered so the other kids in the room couldn't hear, "I left you a message". I went to the board behind the TV, and there was a message, "John and Jesus love you". Who could stay mad? He got in a fight a couple of weeks ago, and according to the new rules, was asked 3 times to stop but did not comply, so he's expelled. I miss him terribly.

I've been spending a lot of time with the boys, and their family. Their grandma reminds me of mine, very loving but very strong. She and I have discussed the possibility of my taking custody of the boys, at least John. I had been seeing all of them every day, and if I didn't see James, he'd at least call to let me know how his day was.

I think part of my mood has to do with their absence. I've only talked to them once in four days, and I worry. Ok, I'm tired now, so I'll share more about this at a later time.