Mid-Winter Blahs
Ok, I'm back. Still sick- no, Inanna, not mono, although doc can't figure out exactly what's wrong. He's run so many tests that I think I'm low on blood, and all I DO know is it's not HIV, mono, or anything else that they can identify. I've taken so many pills that I'm starting to rattle when I walk. The idea that I think is most possible is an environmental cause. I've been renting this house since the end of October, and have not felt really good since the middle of November.
My boys are sliding fast, and unfortunately, I don't have the energy to slow the momentum. I found out that James has been carrying drugs for a cousin. He lost a large amount of them, and was planning to steal the 200 dollars to pay him back. I paid his debt, and he's promised not to continue with that line of work, but I really feel like I don't know him any more. I know that everyone makes bad choices when they're a teenager, but this is a huge deal. I'm so disappointed in him, and he's so ashamed of himself that he hangs his head whenever I'm around. John is on probation for riding in a stolen truck, and Josh has been skipping class a lot.
Classes are still stormy- kids are hard to work with, and my patience is thin. Ass principal gives me a huge amount of shit because of the problems. To make matters worse, budget cuts are going to require principal to cut 5-7 teachers this year. So, if I stay, I'll have classes of 35+ next year, but if I go, I'll have to start a job search again.
Oh, well, I need to go do my taxes so I can pay more bills. Have a great week.
My boys are sliding fast, and unfortunately, I don't have the energy to slow the momentum. I found out that James has been carrying drugs for a cousin. He lost a large amount of them, and was planning to steal the 200 dollars to pay him back. I paid his debt, and he's promised not to continue with that line of work, but I really feel like I don't know him any more. I know that everyone makes bad choices when they're a teenager, but this is a huge deal. I'm so disappointed in him, and he's so ashamed of himself that he hangs his head whenever I'm around. John is on probation for riding in a stolen truck, and Josh has been skipping class a lot.
Classes are still stormy- kids are hard to work with, and my patience is thin. Ass principal gives me a huge amount of shit because of the problems. To make matters worse, budget cuts are going to require principal to cut 5-7 teachers this year. So, if I stay, I'll have classes of 35+ next year, but if I go, I'll have to start a job search again.
Oh, well, I need to go do my taxes so I can pay more bills. Have a great week.
posted by Tsarina @ 11:57:00 AM
1 Comments:
At 12:50 PM,
Traci Dolan said…
Oh Tsarina, that's terrible. I'm sorry to hear you're having such a hard time. Check for mold in your new digs. Glad it's not mono though, but mold/mildew could be worse.
As for the boys, well, you're doing all you can and they know you're there, sometimes you can't do more than that.
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