Cause for Celebration!!!

Good morning, boys and girls! Yes, I know it's almost 3pm, but I just got up. If you're wondering why, let me tell you- Tsarina can still hang, but it takes her a lot longer to get over it! Went out Sunday night (and afternoon) with my girls, and had more fun than we've had in ages. Sang karaoke, danced lewdly, drank enough jello shots to tranquilize an elephant, grabbed a couple of middle-aged men's asses just to see them smile, and if I remember correctly, I gave lessons in flashing from a convertible to the most naive member of our group, Jane (I've always loved being the bad influence)!

In fact, any of you who visited early Monday, would have known that I was guilty of BUI (blogging under the influence). I did manage to take the long, rambling post down yesterday.

Ok boys and girls, here's the main reason we were celebrating (well, one of them)...OUR TEST SCORES WENT UP!!!! Not just a point or two, but UP! For those of you not worried that the government is going to take your job, this will be boring, but screw you, it's my blog. You see, our subgroups (African American students and students receiving special ed services) have not been succeeding on the same level as white students (after meeting some of the older teachers in my district, I can see exactly where the problems are). Last year (03-04), special ed met or exceeded the standards at a rate of 2.8% (be horrified, I certainly was). This year? Drumroll please... 27%!!! That's right, in one year. Across the board, reading scores improved, not enough to make AYP, but enough to encourage all of us that we're doing the right thing. Math scores? Well, I'm sorry to say they stayed the same. I attribute that to the fact that (except for Amy) all of our math teachers are cut from the same mold- OLD SCHOOL. 'Sit in your seat and listen to me lecture'. On the bright side, though, our hated rival across town (MF), who think they are so much better because we have the ghetto kids...scores down. Not just a little, but WAAAAAYYY down! Maybe they'll focus on their kids and less on us now.

So, one of my friends is working on a theory that the amount of alcohol consumed by the teachers actually improves the scores of the students, therefore the district should start paying our bar tab. As she puts it, "What's the only difference in the school between last year and this year? Us. And what's different about us than the teachers who've been here in the past? We're all a bunch of raging alcoholics!" She's working on a graph to give to the principal (he'll laugh, but we won't show it to the Ass). We are having t-shirts made with the following on them, although I don't know where we'll wear them- as a teacher, you have to be VERY careful of how you present yourself. (The bars we frequent are a little more upscale than our kids' families hang out at, and a little lowbrow for our administration).

Have a great day!