Returning to the Living

I get up every day at 4:30. I leave home an hour later, and spend another hour on the road. I arrive at school at 6:30 and start preparing for the day. There are suspension lists to check and get work together for my angels who've made mistakes, memos to read (lots and lots of memos to read), usually I find one or more of the counselors to talk about particular students (btw, I DO know which counselor each of my students prefers to see). Then I can race through preparations in setting up for that day- labs take forever to set up, demonstrations require less time, but still must be ready. I make sure there is paper and other supplies for students who won't have any. Often, I go to the computer lab to look up extra information. If I have to make copies, I try to do them at night, because there is only one copier working, and it is on its last legs, so I don't want any surprises. At 7:30, the galleria fills with students eating breakfast, and I'm expected to monitor. Often there are fights, or near-fights (nearly always girls). When the bell rings twenty minutes later, I stand in the doorway to the hallway, greeting my students as they come for homeroom. Homeroom is dedicated to character education, and I work very hard to select activities and discussion topics that are relevant and interesting. The rest of the day, I teach science. Everything in my class is geared around cooperative learning and hands-on activities, meaning that I don't sit down. On my planning period, I go to the in-school suspension room and talk with my angels who are visiting there- offering encouragement and sometimes a stern lecture. I've begun talking with several seventh graders as well, as I have become sort of the Pied Piper of the unruly masses- they follow me devotedly. School is over at 2:30, and I finish up a few loose ends, leaving between 3:30-5:30 to drive an hour home.

I do all of this happily for my 26 grand a year. As I've mentioned, it's not about the money to me (although I may start tutoring for an outside company to pick up extra cash). So, when I have to listen to some flipping moron on the radio say that the problem with young people today is that teachers don't care any more, I tend to get upset. I tend to do things like call the radio station from my car and detail the day I had. I feel the need to share the experience of crying because two of your students are now in jail. I feel compelled to share stories about being an "uncaring" teacher who calls home to discuss student progress (both positive and negative), and have parents answer who are too high to hold a conversation. I must also mention the fact that if the stupid dj really cared about helping young people, he would stop looking for someone to place the blame on, and start trying to help solve the problems. I discuss these and many other topics in a patient, calm manner, while inside I'm wanting to drive to the station, pull his lazy ass out of the chair and put the beatdown on him. Of course, none of this got through to him, and he simply said, "well, you chose that job; now you need to fix the problems...it's not my job". I was disenhartened until I heard other callers begin flooding the airwaves, supporting my point of view. To those of you who understand that it takes a village, THANK YOU.

To those of you who care about my kids- T. was taken into custody early. He broke his probation (probably failed a drug test, but I don't know). I never got to say goodbye. Darin is back in jail for breaking and entering. Marcus is no longer going to be a father- the girl had an abortion. He's not taking it well- been gone for a week. C is fluctuating wildly between irrational, aggressive outbursts and funny, sweet bids for attention. I can't even go into all we've been through in the past week. My bright spot, James is still doing well. I thank God for that every day. He is the thought that gives me hope. He is not as quick to catch on as the other kids, and has such limited life experiences that it's hard to explain things to him. But he's trying. And I believe that as long as he is willing to keep trying, I have to keep getting up at 4:30 and doing my best.