Feelin' Way Too Damn Good

In life, there are brief moments of real, pure joy. I believe that they are a gift so that we may endure the rest of the shit.

Yesterday at lunch, James and I had a really long, deep conversation. We discussed his progress, we talked about his future (if he doesn't play for the NBA, he wants to be a lawyer). We talked a little about faith (he seems to have a lot of questions, and I suggested he talk with his pastor). We began working on looking people in the eye when he talks, speaking clearly, how to shake hands, and other skills he needs to work on. He asked if he could come in after school to do make-up work. All was well and beautiful with the world. After school, he did not come in. Today he was not in school. His littlest brother, Julius, told me that he and John did not come home last night. I had noticed some behavior changes this past week, but attributed them to his continued illness. He was sleeping in class, and seemed disinterested in his work. Now I'm beginning to wonder...

Drugs are a fact of life. You all know that I am completely aware of the lure of the leafy green refreshment. What I can't figure out is why our lawmakers have not realized the one thing that every one of my kids knows: it's easier to get a joint than a beer if you are under 21. The reason? Because alcohol is regulated. We can track who is purchasing it, and where. Weed is sold EVERYWHERE there are kids (and often adults). One of my girls was expelled this week for selling at school (duh). I am honestly afraid that this is the path James has begun to slide down (at least if it's drugs, I HOPE it's pot and not something much worse).

I won't accept this for him- I can't. I talked with GC today, and if James is at school tomorrow, he'll talk with him. But, we can't be with him 24/7- and that's what scares me. I wish I could shut off this gut-wrenching fear that is consuming me, but I feel a very real, very dark shadow is trying to envelop him, and I don't think that what I'm doing is enough. PLEASE, PLEASE, pray for him. I know that there are more people who visit here than just the 2 or 3 that comment, so if every one of you would pray for him, and ask your friends and family to do the same, it would mean so much to me. I know that most of you don't know the importance of this, but I promise you that this is more urgent than even the situation with T was. (BTW, James is not his real name, so when praying, please focus on what I've told you about him, rather than just the name). His life can not move in this direction, and we MUST stop his backslide. As a teacher, I am used to people paying lip service to the fact that we are underpaid, but consider this your chance to show your support. Thank you.