The REAL World (not that BS on MTV)

Ok, here's the situation as I understand it.

Most of the local hardcore gang leaders have been released from prison over the past three or four months. They received enough education to realize that 14-15 year-olds are treated differently by the criminal justice system, so that is where they are focusing their attention. My kids, who worship the gangsta lifestyle they see portrayed everywhere are quick to jump on board. As the kids come in every morning, I look out over a sea of red with small patches of blue. James is wearing a lot of red these days, and last week, Bill challenged him on a band-aid on the right side of his neck (apparently, that's something, too). I am sick over the things happening to these kids, especially James and his brother John.

We had a talk the other day, and I told him that I knew in the rest of his life he had to dress and act a certain way to survive, but in the school, I would not tolerate it. The red, while still prominent, has decreased a little.

There was a red/blue fight in our hallway last Friday, and I'm still bruised and sore. One positive note for me is that both sides like and respect me, so when I step in, I have less fear of being punched (not NO fear, but less). The difficulty for me lies in watching 50-something year-old Bill, rolling on the floor and finally overpowering two (yes, TWO) 16 year-olds. I was holding one kid in place, and couldn't help him for fear that my kid would jump back in. Nina actually did something---she blew her whistle! There was another male teacher on the floor with three other kids, and Ann held off one (until he plowed her down in an effort to jump back in). Six more were blocking the hall doors, keeping the police and administration out. Thank God none of them had weapons, although that is only a matter of time. I was pissed that the racist bastard of a shop teacher came down the hall, took my kid from me and pulled him outside. I was afraid he was going to hurt the kid, so I stood in the doors and watched until the principal came and took him away personally. This guy needs an ass beating in the worst way- he gleefully tells stories of slamming kids' heads into lockers when breaking up fights. He's a miserable fuck, and I'm glad he's retiring.

I have actually found that if I talk calmly about insignificant things, like asking their name and introducing myself, while also interjecting information like, "I'm proud of you; you're doing a great job of doing what I asked and waiting here", they calm down pretty quickly. The kid I worked with last week turns out to be James' cousin, which probably helped, but when the chaos moved toward us, he physically pulled me out of harm's way twice. As a woman, I have the disadvantage of being much smaller than most of the kids, but on the other hand, most were raised by their mothers, and are more respectful of women.

I wish I could sit down with these leaders and tell them about the kids whose lives they are destroying. I wish I could tell them that these kids have futures, and opportunities to make great improvements in the lives of everyone. One of my kids, Ty, is the most intelligent person I have ever met. He thinks on a higher level than I do, and it's a strain for me to follow some of his ideas. Before the end of each class yesterday, I gave the usual "be careful on spring break- don't do anything you couldn't look me in the eye and tell me about" speech. Ty hugged me on his way out, and said, "I might not see you again. You're my favorite teacher ever", and left. There's a huge war brewing in the neighborhoods, and we think it will begin while the schools are on break. Ty doesn't see anything for himself except a coffin or a prison cell. No one else recognizes his brilliance- they only see a hyperactive distraction. I've never had even one problem with him, but he's suspended all the time for his behavior. I worry about him, and James, and all of my other "angels", many of whom I don't even have in my classes, but I have gotten to know in the hallways.

I found out from my principal's secretary that when they were making decisions regarding rehires, GC went to the principal and told him that if he didn't keep me, he would be making a huge mistake. He said many wonderful things about me, for which I am really grateful. I respect GC, and know that he's not a man to throw flattery around; he says what he means and nothing more.

There have been several good things happen lately: James earned his first-ever A on a report card! He worked very hard in my class, and I'm really proud of him. One of my kids and I had a really good talk at lunch a couple of weeks ago, and I've seen a lot of progress in him since that time. The ignorant teacher on my team will not be back next year (although Krusty will...damn). After a lot of hard work on my part, our fundraising efforts for our field trip have earned enough to pay for our buses. I will admit that Krusty did help toward the end, but in this case, I will take most of the credit, because the rest of my team were freaking bricks. As my way of showing this, I wrote a memo detailing all of the preparations I had taken care of last weekend and gave a copy to each member of my team, as well as the principal. My rationale was that several members of my team had been absent, so I wanted to make sure we all knew what was done. Normally, I am not one to toot my own horn, but I'm tired of Krusty and the math teacher taking credit for things that I have done.

Ok, I think I'm going shopping for some new clothes; I usually wear browns and muted tones, but last week I wore a new shirt with bright colors, and EVERYONE told me how nice I looked that I guess it's time to update my wardrobe. (One of my kids even said, "If you weren't a teacher, you'd be hot", which I took as high praise). Please have a safe and happy holiday, and pray that all of my angels do, too.