Tsarina's World

The musings, rants, and general complaints of a schoolteacher in the MidWest. I have no real social life, which sucks for me personally, but makes my dog happy- he is the center of my universe! Come on in, take your shoes off and stay a while... who wants pie and coffee?

Saturday, October 09, 2004

Visiting Day

My grandma doesn't know me at all any more. She used to know me because I am the only girl with brown eyes; she always loved brown eyes. Now she cries because I scare her by calling her grandma and she doesn't recognize me. Alzheimers is an evil disease, and I thank my higher power for Inanna and others who want to help.

Goodnight, Grandma

Sitting by the window
Seeing places long gone
Milky eyes, afraid and lost
A trickle of drool flows unheeded
Can you hear me?
Or do you hear the toddler that I was?

I can reach the cookie jar alone now
And I can tie a bow
I thought I knew it all
But the one thing I never learned
Was how to make you better
With a band-aid and a kiss.

posted by Tsarina @ 8:53:00 PM  

10 Comments:

  • At 10:15 PM, Blogger Katrina said…

    I am sorry to hear about your grandmother...that must be soo hard for both of you...*hugs*

     

  • At 12:05 AM, Blogger Tsarina said…

    Thanks, she's been like this for a long time, so we've all kind of adjusted. I'm not sure if I'm going to visit much any more, though, it really scares her.

     

  • At 12:56 AM, Blogger JamDaddy said…

    Sorry about your Grandma. My Granddad got like that and could be violent. I ended up visiting less and then just answering to whomever he thought I was at the time. Just did or answered in any manner that seemed to set him at ease. Hope your future visits go well.

     

  • At 8:38 AM, Blogger Rev. Kimberly Rich said…

    I would have to agree with that last comment. Do not call her grandma anymore. Be who she needs you to be. I hope you can find the strength to continue seeing her. I would give about anything to see my grandmother again even if it was still on the machines. I am just selfish that way I guess. I agreed to the switching off of all those things so she could go. Let me tell you though I miss her greatly.

    Love and Light

     

  • At 9:04 AM, Blogger Tsarina said…

    I know you're all right. I'm just being selfish; if my mom can visit five days a week, I can manage one. My other grandma died after a short (but painful) bout with cancer. I've always been angry that she went so suddenly, but I think it was a blessing. Her passing was peaceful, and surrounded by family; I wish the same thing for this grandma.

     

  • At 7:17 AM, Blogger Jason said…

    My wife's grandmother died of Alhiemer's Disease. At the end the only person she recognized was her son, my wife's father.

    Sadly, he was visiting his wife's family in another state the day she died. My wife got a call from the from the nursing home saying an anuerism ruptured. We went to the hospital and sat with her while she passed.

    It is a horrible disease the rob's a person of their dignity, then their own identity.

     

  • At 1:33 PM, Blogger Rita said…

    I wanted to pass this article on to you. I read it several months back when I was at a loss regarding how to have a pleasant visit with my aunt, also an Alzheimer's patient in a nursing home.

    I found it fascinating that for many Alzheimer's patients, their memory for specific people and places is gone, but their imagination is alive and well. Sharing a picture book with my aunt has been a great way to spend some time with her without the anxious questions of "do you remember . . ." that seemed to upset her so.

    http://content.health.msn.com/content/article/11/1738_51778

     

  • At 10:08 PM, Blogger Derek said…

    my great grandmother had it. it got to the point that it was too sad to visit her and i wanted to remember her as the happy chearful 'nan'.. which i some what regret.. seeing as i never really went to see her the last bit of her life. sigh..

     

  • At 10:45 AM, Blogger Tsarina said…

    Thanks to all of you for your encouragement and for sharing your own experiences- you'll never know how much that helps. And Rita, I'm going to read the article as soon as I leave here. You're all swell! :)

     

  • At 2:44 PM, Blogger Traci Dolan said…

    Wow... just humbling.

     

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