No More Oprah

As you have probably figured out by now, I am not a 'girly-girl'. I don't go to the bathroom with my friends, I only own three pairs of shoes, and I'd rather watch the Terminator blow shit up than watch Meg Ryan do... anything. However, sometimes I feel the need to torture myself by watching Oprah and try to figure out why women love this show so much. Today's topic: Growing Up Rich. I don't understand our collective fascination with these trust fund tots who have never had to earn anything and who contribute even less. Topping it off was those vacant, useless blond blow-up dolls, the Hilton sisters. First of all, one of them couldn't remember the name of the machine that washes her clothes. Then they have the nerve to say that they earn their money (they ARE models, for God's sake), and they like feeling like productive citizens. Let me explain something, ladies: firefighters are productive citizens. Parents who care for their children properly are productive citizens. The busboy who cleans up your dirty dishes is a productive citizen. YOU ARE FUCKING MODELS- you are a hole with blonde hair (sorry, I'm annoyed) . You inherited more money than my school receives annually from the government, and you earn way too much for WEARING CLOTHES. This is not a productive career. Shit, even Paris' porno was more productive than modelling! I didn't see it myself, but many of my guy friends have found it very entertaining. The other rich kids were just as obnoxious, "I can't imagine dating someone who's not from my same background"-  um, because it's called incest, hon, and that's what was causing many royal heirs to die out.  Maybe that's the solution we need: if you can't pass a common sense test, you can only breed with a close family member, and within two generations, your bloodline will be too thin to support life.

I must also say, I can't stand Oprah's phony ass any more, either. She used to be funny and interesting. Now, if she's not telling you how to be perfect like herself, she's sucking up to some brain-dead celebrity who probably drools during commercial breaks. God, I was in a good mood before I watched that show- see, that's why I avoid daytime television.