Lifelike Fairytales, The Unfinished Ending

I'm going to skip the biggest part of the story, because when you only hit the major events, it sounds so depressing, and that's not the entire truth. There have been so many people and events that wove strands of great joy into the overall tapestry. So, I'm going to cut to the finish (for Derek), but there are a couple of incidents that I feel have to be included in order for you to understand how the story could get from here to there (without greater mental illness than there is)!

Trina had spent her entire childhood seeking protection from the Christian God. That faith had given her strength, but never completely healed her wounds. Christianity was rather like a sweater that didn’t fit quite right; it wasn’t painful, and it did protect from the worst of the cold, but it didn’t feel natural. She was troubled by the anger and cruelty she saw in so many people who professed to love Him; there was so much intolerance in everyday life by pillars of the Christian community that it was painful. She began seeking answers.

When she was in sixth grade, Trina was sent to the principal’s office for expressing “un-American” views. She refused to write a paper praising Columbus’ “discovery” of America, and she spoke up when the teacher said that all Russians were evil and bad. Trina did not understand why no one else could see that a discovery only takes place if no one else knows about something, and since people already lived here, there was no discovery on Columbus’ part. She spoke up on behalf of the Russians because she could not stand to see every individual condemned for the actions of a few. She told her teacher that was like condemning all Americans because some had owned slaves. During the Cold War, these views were unacceptable in small-town America.

While she waited in the principal's office for the Queen to arrive, Trina read a newspaper. There was an article about the Tibetan struggle for independence. Trina immediately felt a connection and sympathy with the Tibetan people, and something awoke in her. She began reading about Buddhism and suddenly found a sweater that felt custom-made. The focus on compassion for all living beings touched her soul. The Buddha taught many of the same values that Christ had, but somehow, this was familiar and comforting. She recognized that this was not the path for everyone, but she chose to walk it, and she began to find inner strength and peace in the midst of turmoil.

Another incident that helped to bring closure to Trina happened when she was 23. She had returned to her hometown, and was listening to a band in a local bar when she was approached by a young man. She recognized him immediately as one of her worst tormentors through her school years. He had made her high school experience hellish on a daily basis. He asked her if they could talk for a moment. Trina’s first instinct was to run away, but she decided to listen to him. He told her that he was now a teacher and he saw things from a completely different point of view. He apologized for the way he had treated her and told her that he knew he did not deserve her forgiveness. He said that when he saw his students treating each other badly, he told them how cruel he had been and how it still haunted him and made him ashamed. As he stood to leave, Trina finally spoke. She thanked him and she hugged him, and she said, "I forgive you". She felt a huge burden lifted from her shoulders; there was relief in forgiving him.

THE MOST RECENT CHAPTER (the final chapter has yet to be written)

Trina thinks about the events of her life now. She feels like many of them happened to someone else, and in a way, they did. She is stronger and more confident now. She still has panic attacks, but they are lessening again. She loves her home, and is slowly working to restore it. She smiles more now than at any time in her life. Sometimes she feels blue, but it takes her less time to get over it. Often, you may see her playing in her front yard with dog, running and laughing. She will be starting a new job in the fall; one that she is excited about. She hopes to find someone to share her life with, but her spiritual beliefs have taught her that one cannot bend life to their own will. She knows that life will flow, regardless of her problems, and she finds comfort in that continuity. While she wishes her grandmother had been alive on the day she graduated from college, Trina swears that as she looked into the auditorium, there was a recognizable silhouette in the upper bowl, wearing a familiar green dress with white polka dots, and waving to her.