Lost in thought

I have to begin by giving you a little background: my dad is a drunk. He's not the cute, "Otis the town drunk" kind of drunk: he's the asshole at the bar that you want to pass out and shut the fuck up. So I have to call his house to ask a question, and he's faced. This is always the moment of truth; do I just make quick small talk and get off the phone, or do I try to get something intelligent out of him? I know- you are saying, "get off the phone, dumbass", and that is what the smart person would do. However, I seem to always hold out the hope that somewhere in the pickled recesses of his mind, my dad is still there, waiting to help me. You can see where this is going. I ask my question, and he begins to rant and babble incoherently. When I ask him what he said, he asks me why I'm tying up my phone lines when I'm expecting a call about a job. I try to explain that it's after five, and human resources has gone home, which sets him off on another tangent. I say goodbye and hang up. When will I stop feeling like an eight year old and face up to the fact that the dad I remember is dead, and this bitter, mean old man has taken his place? It's really strange that occasionally I will run into someone who used to work with him, and they'll talk about how funny he is. They always talk about what a great guy he was to work with, and I wonder if we're talking about the same person. It seems like so often, we give the best of ourselves to strangers, and save the worst for those that we're supposed to love.

My neighbor's 14 year-old son has been helping me scrape and paint my house. He's a great kid, and has become like a little brother, so when I saw him last night, I could tell something was wrong. His girlfriend broke up with him. He's trying to act like it's no big deal, but I can see in his eyes that he's hurt. I want to offer some pearls of wisdom, but what can I say that will make it feel better? I know many people who will say, "he's 14; he'll forget about it next week", but I don't think that's true. We all remember the first person who dumped us. The pain of it may lessen, but you never really forget. I think that your first dumping may be the first big hit that your ego takes, and afterward, whenever someone rejects you, you revert back to that moment when someone broke up with you for the first time. Emotionally, you BECOME 13 or 14 years old again, and you are devastated, even if you didn't like the person who's dumping you that much. As I struggle to find something comforting to say to him, all that comes out is, "do you want a Mountain Dew"? That's why I don't teach first grade- I'm not very good with the touchy-feel-good kind of crap. He drank the soda and we sat on the patio in silence, swatting mosquitoes. Eventually, he got up to leave, and said, "thanks, I feel better". I guess sometimes, all we need is a soda and someone to sit with.