tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-72135692009-02-20T23:08:00.212-06:00The musings, rants, and general complaints of a schoolteacher in the MidWest. I have no real social life, which sucks for me personally, but makes my dog happy- he is the center of my universe! Come on in, take your shoes off and stay a while... who wants pie and coffee?Tsarinanoreply@blogger.comBlogger169125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7213569.post-1156092663621941562006-08-20T10:55:00.000-05:002006-08-20T11:51:03.930-05:00

Grrr, I really dislike having a summer cold. I know, I know, there are much worse things that can (and have) happened in my life, but this is still unpleasant.I'm also beginning to feel the pressure of teaching for ISATs. I've never taught 7th grade before, and they take the state science tests; there's a lot of pressure. The state has been telling us that "Next year, 8th grade will take them"...

Tsarinanoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7213569.post-1155398523513440482006-08-12T10:41:00.000-05:002006-08-12T11:02:03.586-05:00

Sigh, finally a (relatively) calm week. We still don't have a math teacher on our team. Amy applied to transfer, but HR is dragging their feet. She's an excellent math teacher (a rare find), and our old school does not want to let her go so close to their classes starting.I have to admit, she did really upset me last night, though. J was with us and she began saying things that you should not say

Tsarinanoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7213569.post-1154816517768905542006-08-05T16:48:00.000-05:002006-08-05T17:21:58.036-05:00

Geez, how does the time get by so fast? We're about to start our third week of school already. I've finally got most of the names, but every day there is at least one new student in my classes. I'm going out with the girls tonight- it's been ages and I'm really looking forward to it. There is a huge festival downtown, and it's a great place to see former students. I need to go to the store and

Tsarinanoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7213569.post-1154279795282120892006-07-30T11:50:00.000-05:002006-07-30T12:16:35.326-05:00

It seems like forever since I've been here. So many things going on that I feel like the proverbial one legged-man in the ass kicking contest.First of all, John has worn out my sympathy. He was released on probation with two of the class X felonies being held over his head. He followed the rules for exactly four days. He has refused to go to his community-service work, he's begun sneaking out at

Tsarinanoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7213569.post-1152855589398024302006-07-14T00:08:00.000-05:002006-07-14T00:39:49.433-05:00

Inanna has made me begin thinking about a lot of things with her last few posts. Let's just say, I understand where she's at. Bless you, Nanner, for where you've been and where you're going.I spent most of last night at the police station, trying to pick up John. They called at 3 looking for J, who is in Chicago. They said they couldn't reach J's mom, and could I come down. I did, and waited...

Tsarinanoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7213569.post-1152128808740925512006-07-05T14:26:00.000-05:002006-07-08T20:12:36.633-05:00

"Celebrated" the 4th with my family. J didn't go- I haven't told them about him yet. He's hurt by that. He seems to think that once I do, he'll be able to talk to them and they'll be ok with everything. It's not going to happen like that. I can tell you now, I will probably never see my parents again. I know, I know, you're wondering why I haven't told them yet, as that would be a huge relief.

Tsarinanoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7213569.post-1151352113449050412006-06-26T13:49:00.000-05:002006-06-26T16:25:41.060-05:00

Just got back last night from J's family reunion. I have been to Chicago thousands of times, but every time I go with him, I see things I have never imagined. His family is mostly from the south and southwest sides of town. While the south side seems like almost any working class area, the southwest side is like being on a different planet.Driving down the street, you see people selling

Tsarinanoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7213569.post-1150912366984385232006-06-21T12:42:00.000-05:002006-06-21T12:52:47.023-05:00

Can you believe it? We just got J's bill for his emergency room visit...$2443.93!!! Plus we haven't gotten the bill for the pathologist. Of course, when you work day labor for cash, there is no insurance, so we're screwed. He is working in Chicago now- for the union so he has some security.We just got moved into a new house. Not bad for a rental- so many of them are downright scary. I should be

Tsarinanoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7213569.post-1150059598369665782006-06-11T15:43:00.000-05:002006-06-11T15:59:58.400-05:00

In this circus that I call a life, I have learned that if you're on the brink of crying, go ahead and laugh it off. I laugh a lot. Let me share this year's installment of "Tsarina's Birthday of Doom": (cue ominous music)The phone rang at 7:22 (yup, am...FUCKING A.M.). I should explain that J is a day laborer, so never knows exactly what to expect. It was him on the phone, asking me to bring his

Tsarinanoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7213569.post-1149732514753050382006-06-07T21:03:00.000-05:002006-06-07T21:08:34.783-05:00

Tomorrow is June 8. Again. Another birthday- Yippeee. Some things never change. Some things, like the fact that my birthday always sucks. I have no reason to believe that this year will be any different. I'm feeling sorry for myself; something that I do a lot of this time every year. Anyway, eat some cake, drink a beer, and think of me.

Tsarinanoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7213569.post-1148922986213615462006-05-29T11:37:00.000-05:002006-05-29T12:16:26.496-05:00

I am depressed. Not "goodbye cruel world" depressed; more "leave me the fuck alone cruel world" depressed. It's not just the miscarriage- I don't think it's any ONE thing, just the constant heaping of everything.Professionally, this has been a miserably unsuccessful year. I am ashamed to admit that of my 140 (yes the number is ridiculous) students, I really can't stand about 80 of them. I have

Tsarinanoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7213569.post-1146497751330189702006-05-01T10:09:00.000-05:002006-05-01T10:35:51.446-05:00

Many things can go wrong when someone is pregnant. It's not uncommon for someone to miscarry at around 8 weeks. I know that usually when it happens, there was something wrong with the fetus. It's one thing to know all of that in your mind, and another to convince yourself of it. Even in 8 weeks, I had begun to imagine what it would be like...This is also a time to find out your friends' true

Tsarinanoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7213569.post-1145741069128955682006-04-22T16:16:00.000-05:002006-04-22T16:24:29.143-05:00

I swear to God, if he EVER makes bacon in this house again, I'll fucking kill him. It's not just the initial smell (which brought about vomiting twice). The trouble with it is that I currently have the ability to smell like a police dog, and for the past four days, every time I come in, all I can smell is bacon. I'd talk about how gross it looks, but I'm feeling queasy enough.No one ever REALLY

Tsarinanoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7213569.post-1145242150106753032006-04-16T21:43:00.000-05:002006-04-16T21:49:10.116-05:00

I feel weird. I have absolutely no energy, and sleep every free minute. I don't feel like eating until I'm absolutely starved. Even then, I can only eat a few bites without feeling sick. I keep having really strange, vivid dreams. My body has stopped controling its temperature... I'll be really cold for a while, then all of the sudden, I feel like a middle-aged woman having a hot flash. In spite

Tsarinanoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7213569.post-1141588169404230952006-03-05T13:36:00.000-06:002006-03-05T13:49:29.416-06:00

Sometimes, when I get too full of myself and my problems, I'm jerked back to reality with a thud. Along that note, I'd like to ask anyone who reads this to say a prayer for my friend, Angel.Angel has had more bad things happen in her life that most people could live with. In the past four years, her husband cheated on her while she was pregnant with their second child (actually, their 3rd; a son

Tsarinanoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7213569.post-1140459163827487532006-02-20T11:57:00.000-06:002006-02-20T12:21:31.013-06:00

Ok, I'm back. Still sick- no, Inanna, not mono, although doc can't figure out exactly what's wrong. He's run so many tests that I think I'm low on blood, and all I DO know is it's not HIV, mono, or anything else that they can identify. I've taken so many pills that I'm starting to rattle when I walk. The idea that I think is most possible is an environmental cause. I've been renting this house

Tsarinanoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7213569.post-1139122275000651212006-02-05T00:26:00.000-06:002006-02-05T00:51:15.100-06:00

Greetings, all! Next time I say that all is well, just friggin shoot me! I've spent the past week sicker than I've ever been in my life. Strep throat again, and this was the worst pain I've ever felt. On the upside...doc gave me heavy duty painkillers.My poor kids had subs for two of us most of the week, and in case I haven't mentioned it before, we don't get the cream of the crop subs. In my

Tsarinanoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7213569.post-1138471473232195672006-01-28T11:51:00.000-06:002006-01-28T12:04:33.250-06:00

Can't wipe this stupid smile off of my face. For one brief moment, everything in my life is going well (knock on wood). James is doing great at home-school... he comes to my house during the day and is completing work while I'm at school. His work isn't as great as I'd like, but he is at least trying.His dad and I are seeing each other pretty regularly. We went out to celebrate Amy's divorce last

Tsarinanoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7213569.post-1137855924478588642006-01-21T08:43:00.000-06:002006-01-21T09:05:24.553-06:00

Good news all around. The kid with the gun was caught on other charges and is going to be spending a significant amount of time in a confined setting. His friends don't seem to want to continue his grudge against James.I did have a rough day yesterday with two of my favorite kids in fifth hour. I ended up pulling each of them into the hallway and calling home. I hate to do that, but it lets the

Tsarinanoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7213569.post-1137274096173858902006-01-14T14:51:00.000-06:002006-01-14T15:28:16.230-06:00

I know, I know, it's been a while. There's been a lot going on lately- most of it unpleasant.I've been battling strep throat and pneumonia for a couple of weeks now. I haven't had a voice for over a week, which makes it hard to do my job. On the bright side, two of my classes have turned a corner, and were really good because they knew I was sick. Last year, I could have counted on all of my

Tsarinanoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7213569.post-1135702865784157832005-12-27T10:28:00.000-06:002005-12-27T11:01:05.846-06:00

Holiday greetings! I had the most wonderful Christmas in memory. Some strange and amazing things happened that have renewed my faith in miracles. Let me share something that happened on Christmas Eve:I went to my parents before going to Cruella's for dinner. Normally, I have many gifts for my parents, including stockings. This year, I had one gift. I explained to them that while they didn't get

Tsarinanoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7213569.post-1134920772291281202005-12-18T09:15:00.000-06:002005-12-18T09:46:12.410-06:00

Well, the contract was ratified, and we returned to work last Monday. The changes, you ask? Nada. The high school day is slightly shorter (10 minutes), but that's it. And my raise? Originally, the district was offering a pretty good chunk of change to those of us lower on the pay scale, and a smaller one to the top end...you know, the people on our bargaining committee... My raise now is around

Tsarinanoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7213569.post-1134156991920757712005-12-09T13:15:00.000-06:002005-12-09T13:36:32.026-06:00

I have planning period first hour. This is the time when I'm supposed to be able to work on class stuff, but it never works out that way. The second week of school, I spotted John wandering around in the hallways during this time. I asked where he was supposed to be, and with his sly smile, he said he'd just gotten to school. I looked at his pass, and saw it was from fifteen minutes before.He

Tsarinanoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7213569.post-1133930862196094672005-12-06T22:24:00.000-06:002005-12-06T22:47:42.216-06:00

Ok, I'm depressed. Tomorrow begins day six of the strike. I miss everything about my job- the kids, the principal, even the obnoxious Ass principal. My boys went back to Chicago to visit family. This scares me, as I'm afraid Grandma is considering moving back up there with them. I guess since I have time, I could share some of the events of the past few months.James failed his first quarter in

Tsarinanoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7213569.post-1133542493800854642005-12-02T10:21:00.000-06:002005-12-02T10:54:53.866-06:00

Ok, the first couple of days were pretty cool. I slept late, enjoyed time with friends, and got in a little action that would never have happened if I had to work the next day. Now, I'm just ready to get back to work. I miss my kids, my boys are still in Chicago, and I haven't heard from them, and my bathroom is overrun with hamsters.The saga of the hamsters began a few weeks ago, when two of my

Tsarinanoreply@blogger.com3